Jack Burton

"Have you paid your dues, Jack? Yessir, the check is in the mail"



  • Character Generation:
    • Artifact Cache
    • Liquid Courage
  • 5: Attractive
  • 10: Smarts +1 (d8)
  • 15: 2 Skill Points
    • Knowledge(TwistedEarth/Wasteland) +1 (d8)
    • Knowledge(Battle) +1 (d6)
  • 20:


  • Habit(major)
  • Quirk(minor)
  • Delusional(minor)
  • Vow(minor)


  • Energy-Retaining Cellular Structure
  • Radiation Immunity
  • Interior Moisture Reservoir


  • Photoluminescent Aural Emission
  • Photosensitivity
  • Medical Incompatibility 2


  • Primary Attribute: Spirit
  • Secondary Attributes: Vigor, Smarts
  • Skill Focus: Persuasion, Intimidation, Knowledge(Battle)/(TwistedEarth)
  • Secondary Skills: Shooting, Taunt, Gambling, Knowledge(Ancient Lore)


Average height 2nd generation mutant (mostly stable). Wears large aviator-styled sunglasses when possible and carries a pristine leather satchel filled with books. Has light semi-long light-grey hair along with a well managed beard/mustache. Will wear a bandana if possible. Entire body appears to be slightly reflective and has a silver, metallic sheen. Skin also emits a soft orange glow at all times (mostly noticeable at night). Small, squinty eyes.

Other Stuff

  • The PorkChop Express – A Traveling Radio Show hosted by Jack Burton
  • THE PorkChop Express – A, likely fictional, space hauler once piloted by Jack

Muh Backstory

Harsh Beginnings

  • Grew up in a small village. Mostly 2nd Gen mutants (some 1st). Built next to small, cavernous oasis (fresh water/food, safe from raiders)
  • Village’s oasis was eventually (5-6 years old) contaminated from an unknown source in the North.
  • Group split. Larger group (including me) went South East to find a new settlement.
  • After several weeks of wandering together, the group stumbled upon an endless wasteland of skeletal skyscrapers and buildings.
  • Rebuilt small civilization in ruined water treatment plant. Took in any 2nd gen and 1st gen mutants.
  • Several years later (9-10 years old), treatment facility was raided by energy-weapon toting, power armor-wearing humans.
  • Entire village is seemingly wiped out. Survived several shots by energy weaponry before feigning death and waiting the group out.
    • Humans were there to take water-purification technology.
  • Wandered the wastes alone looking for survivors. Don’t find any.

Jack Burton and the Pork Chop Express

  • Wandered the cityscape until stumbled across an area covered in radiation quarantine signs.
    • unfamiliar with the sign (symbol only, no text) went in.
  • Found a library or museum filled with “ancient technology” and “ancient lore”
    • Actually a large science fiction library largely untouched due to the radiation.
    • Mistook the books as factual events before Terra.
    • Believe Earth has always been this way and that most of humanity has already left to the stars.
    • Read several stories about: space trucking, cryogenics, space warfare, terraforming, colonization, alien life, etc.
  • Several traders were seen wandering near the radiation zone (safe from raiders)
  • To get free supplies, took on the name/identity of one of the posters/books:
    • Jack Burton: galactic space trucker stuck on Terra after having ship shot down by the Federation.
    • Marooned on the planet, forced to stay in cryosleep on the ship (Pork Chop Express) as long as the power reserves held.
    • Once power ran out, wandered into the nearest ancient shipyard (Amarillo) and remained ever since.
    • Always appeared 10-15 years older than I really was. Merchants bought the story.
  • The most common merchants moving through were alcohol traders.
  • Told stories of my own trade adventures in space to get alcohol for many years.
  • Eventually (35 years old), traders stopped coming to Amarillo.
  • With no reliable source of food/drink, Jack wandered East with a satchel of books and a cask of drank (traders were typically going/leaving this direction).
  • Picked up in the desert by a caravan of people who weren’t impressed by Jack’s impossible tales.
  • Shipped of to be a slave. Referred to as a good lamp.

Faction Relations


Stance: Neutral
Want to join to get more information on the land and to simultaneously spread tall tales of space travel hoping to garner some interest. Jack would know about the Cartel’s relations from his days spinning tales to traveling merchants to get liquor.

Clean Water Clan

Stance: Neutral
Want nothing to do with them. Stay on their good side. Jack would have heard some smack talk about the Clean from various traveling merchants. They likely would have had nothing good to say.

The Movement

Stance: Wary
Crazy religious group that either sacrifices members or just “moves” them somewhere. What they do with new recruits will color what Jack really thinks of them, but he’s read about religious cults in his ancient books and probably thinks they’re all wackos.

H-37 and Garrity

Stance: Revered/Vilified
Not much use right now. They don’t seem to have any technological resources to help me get back to space. If at any point Jack can convince them of the wonders of space travel, they could be suitable recruits.

Muh Racism

Jack believes that everyone’s mutations are actually Gene Mods. He thinks these mods were generally given to everyone at birth back in the Federation days. These mods can give extraordinary abilities but have some minor drawbacks.

  • Human: “Fuck ’em”
    • Jack thinks that they are “purists” that didn’t get a mod at birth. He holds them in the same light as anti-vaxxers.
  • 1st Gen Mutants: “They’re the same as us. Just a little crazy-lookin’”
    • Jack thinks they’re a gene-modded human with an unfortunate side effect.
  • 2nd Gen Mutants: “We ain’t mutants! Everyone left on Terra has a few gene mods. Hell, my mods make me glow like a lamp!”
    • Jack thinks they’re the default, gene-modded human.
  • 3rd Gen Mutants: “Them weirdos think they own the wastes. They ain’t evolved enough to dodge a super laser, I bet.”
    • Because of how they look, Jack probably doesn’t think they’re all human and maybe some kind of Federation Science experiment.
  • Cyborgs/Androids: “Back in the day, I used to see these robot fellers all the time.”

Jack Burton

The Savage Wasteland YamDoge